Is He/She the One?

I believe there is a simple answer to this vexing question.

First, here's my theory why so very many of us doubt our relationships in the first place.

In an effort to glean as much attention from us as possible, (since attention = ratings = money) the entertainment industry has unintentionally turned men and women into fantasy seekers.

Look at the women on billboards, in movies, and magazines. They're gorgeous, flawless, perfect. So if that's what boys see their whole lives until they become men, it's all but inevitable that they'll seek out what can't be found. Once a man does find a woman, and she doesn't match up to the standards the media has set, how long will it be before that man feels like he can get better? Everywhere he looks, some beautiful face or perfect body is staring at him from the TV or a piece of paper. So he asks himself, "Is my girl really right for me?"

As for women, you've got it just as hard. Men are portrayed as handsome, flawless, chiseled gods throughout much of the media. Look at Twilight. How can real men compete with Edward or Jacob? In fact, look at romance movies in general. Hollywood men know exactly what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Real guys aren't all that great with the words. Plus, those movies are unrealistically romantic to the point of delirium. Not to mention the fact that money never seems to be a real issue.
"Come my pet, let us stroll through a path of lilies until we get lost, then I will protect you from a grizzly bear, killing it with my bare hands.  Afterward, we shall make love and follow the path of $100 bills I dropped for us to get back safely."

At the forefront of this corruption and brainwashing are two things; romance novels for women and pornography for men. I believe that there is nothing more corrosive than those two things for any relationship.

Down to the crux of this post. How can we tell if he or she is right for us?

Well, here's what a romance novel would say:
"Does he have rippling pecs?"
"Does she have a heaving bosom?"
"Is he wealthy?"
"Are you soul mates and destined to be, as ordained by the heavens?"

These things aren't what matters in a true, honest relationship. So ask yourself these questions instead:

"Do you have similar goals?"
Similar goals are important because you grow closer together trying to achieve them. Plus, sharing the experience lasts a lifetime.

"Are you moving ahead in life? If not, are you BOTH content where you are?"
Remember the tortoise and the hare? They were enemies because their goals were impossibly different.  The only way those two would be good together is if they were in a stew.

"Do you argue when you need to?"
The occasional argument is healthy for relationships. It allows you to blow off steam, release stress and resolve issues instead of bottling them up or letting them fester.

"Are the compromises fair?"
They should be. The scales should never tip too far in either direction or else it could breed contempt and malice.

"Are you a better person because of him or her?"
This last one is, in my opinion, very important. If you're a better person around your partner, and it's the same for him or her, then you have what I call "relational synergy". You are both great for one another and will most likely finish the game of life together.

I hope this helps!